Boyd

This week I told them I was a preschooler. Next week I'm telling them I'm a fetus from Australia (One of the winners last week was a 'fifth-grader' and this week one of the winners is from 'Florida.').

Also, the redneck ploy didn't work as witnessed by my entry #4. Thought that was a sure thing - understandable, yet not funny. I bet they switched it up and the tofu eating, sandal wearing writers and editors were back in charge of the judging which would have made that entry not understandable.

Alas, Percy's #3 and my #2 should have swept the thing and we ought to be waiting on our checks as we speak.

Percy is bringing in Dane Cook next week for help relating to the N&R staff.

Greenwald:

Brooks admits what has been crystal clear for some time — namely, that so-called "conservatives" (meaning the contemporary political "Right") no longer believe (if they ever did) that government power should be restrained in order to maximize freedom. That belief system, says Brooks, is an obsolete relic which arose out of the the 1970s, and has been replaced by the opposite desire — for expanded government power on every front.

I believed it then and I still believe it and lots of others do as well (maybe that makes us something other than Right, but there you go). However, that's not to say that that belief is not exploited by those seeking power. Which is yet another reason to oppose the expansion of government in general - keeps the game-players and mischief makers from doing too much damage. If you allow the government to have X power in the interest of getting something done that you want done, there is no doubt that some bureaucrat will find a way to use that precedent to do something else, which you may or may not object to, but that will have the effect of increasing government size and scope without benefit of a vote.

May:

Hirisi Ali believes that just as the West long ago “freed itself from the grip of violent organized religion” so, too, must Muslims today “hold our dogmas up to the light, scrutinize them, and then infuse traditions that are rigid and inhumane with the values of progress and modernity.”

Hatcher:

As of Jan. 1, 2009, all cars manufactured for sale in this country, import or domestic, regardless of size, should have a top speed of 80 mph.

All new houses should be restricted to a nationwide size limit of 5,000 square feet.

Certainly would save energy. What else might we do to conserve? Hmmmm. How about limiting commutes to ten miles or less? Wonder how Mr. Hatcher would feel about that imposition?

Wait for it.

Anthony Hatcher is an associate professor of communications at Elon University. He and his wife live in a 1,600-square-foot house in Durham.

Sportswriters always think they are two to three years ahead of everyone else when they are behind by two to three years - politics, culture, you name it. Witness the latest old media type to figure out that blogs are a threat to the usual way of doing things.

Shaughnessy re-imagining of Schilling's blog:

CHB38: What do you say to those media morons who contend that you are a self-important blowhard with an ill-informed opinion about everything and an insatiable need to be worshipped by sheep-like fans and late-night blog boys who live in Ma's basement?

38 Pitches: I say bring 'em on. You think it's easy being player-manager/staff ace/media go-to guy/entrepreneur/candidate-in-waiting/savior of the universe? Walk a mile in my shoes, big guy. Meanwhile, I've got to call it a night. Thank you all for writing and keeping it real. Forever yours, 38 Pitches.

Freeman:

"He has his opinion," Terry said of Packer. "Billy Packer has been around the game long enough to know better. Soft? That's foolish. It's offensive to be called that. I try not to let that sort of stuff bother me but I will say that if Billy Packer played in my day, I would bust his ass. It would be a massacre."

Withers:

After five years of leadership from a president with the stature of Johnnetta Cole, some wondered if Bennett College could do it again.

If the college community's response to Julianne Malveaux is an indication, it did.

Malveaux -- an economist, author and cable television commentator -- was greeted with cheers and ovations when she entered a crowded Pfeiffer Chapel on Monday to be announced as the college's 15th president.

USA Today columnist and Pacifica Radio talk show host Julianne Malveaux on Justice Clarence Thomas, November 4, 1994 PBS To the Contrary:

The man is on the Court. You know, I hope his wife feeds him lots of eggs and butter and he dies early like many black men do, of heart disease. Well, that’s how I feel. He is an absolutely reprehensible person.

Thomas:

Why do you think I get in so much controversy? People have a model of what they think a black person should think. A white person is free to think whatever they want to think. But a black person has to think a certain way.

Ali:

People ask me if I have some kind of death wish, to keep saying the things I do. The answer is no: I would like to keep living. However, some things must be said, and there are times when silence becomes an accomplice to injustice.

Burnett:

Ulrich Haarburste's novel Orbison in Clingfilm will likely be the most unusual book released this year. And it's a reason for aspiring writers worldwide -- who have yet to see their work published -- to gouge out their eyes.

And if that doesn't make you want to read it:

The bizarre bit of lit...has gained...(a) hyper-hip following on the web.

See? I wouldn't steer you wrong.

More here and here.

Let's say you're cruising around MySpace one night checking out profiles of people who went to your high school at roughly the same time as you to see what they're up to and you happen to stumble across one that invites you check out his band. Liking bands and somewhat remembering the person's name, but not recalling his face - most likely since he was a year behind you - you click:



Pretty sure you'd remember it if you had gone to high school with David Hasselhoff , you start to read his bio:

Hey...

I grew up in North Carolina and after my baseball career was cut short, I wanted to become either an actor, model, stunt rider or a muscian. It was hard to choose only one, so I moved to Los Angeles and did them all! When I got to hollywood, so many things opened up for me. I started right away in the entertainment biz doing many different movies. some were big productions like warner bros. and dreamworks, some were small like H.B.O. and vivid video. its very easy in hollywood to lose yourself in the pursuit of fame and money, and i got sucked in as well. but before long, i got my focus back on track...

OK. Too bad. OK. Pretty cool. Hmmm. OK. OK. Sure. Wait. Go back. Vivid Video? You mean this Vivid Video?

Whoa.

So you Google the person and you get this Wikipedia entry.

Good lord.

At this point, somewhat in shock, you fire off an email to DaBone fan (according to the Wikipedia entry) and sports columnist Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy, of ESPN Page 2, for clarification. And you go to bed.

The next day, you investigate further. You learn that Dale DaBone is the 23rd ranked male pornstar in the world and a whole bunch of other stuff you're somewhat afraid to link to on your PG rated blog. However, during your investigation something naggingly familiar about Mr. DaBone's career arc manifests itself. Seems that this has all been done before. What could it be?

A-ha!

Boogie Nights.

And I thought these guys were bad.

1. Boogie Nights was released in '97.

DaBone got his start in '98.

2. Dirk Diggler is the pseudonym of the main character in Boogie Nights.

Dale DaBone is the pseudonym of McLeansville's most famous son.

3. Dirk Diggler's best friend/rival/collaborator/fellow actor is Reed Rothchild.

Dale DaBone's best friend/rival/collaborator/fellow actor is Joey Ray.

4. Dirk Diggler's 'first' was the legendary Amber Waves.

DaBone's first was the legendary Nina Hartley (who also starred in Boogie Nights).

5. Dirk Diggler is an aspiring rock star.

YOU GOT THE TOUCH . . . YOU GOT THE POWER.
YEEEEAAAHHHH. AFTER ALL IS SAID AND DONE,
YOU NEVER WALK, YOU NEVER RUN, YOU'RE A WINNER.

Dale DaBone is in a cover band.

6. Dirk Diggler is Brock Landers and knows karate.

Dale Dabone is Max Spears and knows karate (See the final twenty seconds of the first video to the left. Proof is after various motorcycle stunts. For Sports Guy fans, we have achieved a new stratum of unintentional comedy.).

7. Dirk Diggler had a career as a type of escort.

Dale DaBone is available for rent as well.

Two days later, after having learned this news and put together the Boogie Nights pattern and I am still stunned. I never would have believed we'd have had someone from my dear old alma mater achieve top-twenty-five-in-the-world-status in anything. Another classmate is getting a Ph.D. from MIT in June. I told him a few weeks ago that they should put up a statue in his honor in front of the high school - a Ph.D. from MIT being the greatest singular achievement anyone from Northeast Guilford has achieved, as far as I know. But this blows that away (so to speak). Top-twenty-five-in-the-world people. I will now agitate for a Dale DaBone statue to be erected (ahem) at the intersection of Hicone and McLeansville roads. May future classes gain motivation and inspiration from their predecessors and go forth with the knowledge that they too can achieve greatness if they're willing to put their mind (and body) into it:

I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star.
I'm a star. I'm a star,
I'm a big bright shining star.

Eat your heart out Spano.

Update: I forgot to mention that DaBone invented porn rap. He gets credit for being the only one to think of that.

Update II: Well, him and 2 Live Crew.

I didn't submit my cartoon caption entries to Rickard this week, but had I submitted them I'm confident the fifth-grader still would have won.

Henceforth, I am boycotting Tim Rickard and John Robinson and their transparent ploy to increase N&R circulation by choosing winners based on age and geographic diversity rather than on merit. All of my future entries will become the property of Percy Walker for which I am promised, by the thriftless benevolent Mr. Walker, a raise of 100% over what the rapacious Robinson is paying.

For a taste of what is to come, go here. Note that two of the ideas from last Friday are suspiciously similar to this week's winners. Be warned, appropriators, going forward you will not have the benefit of a week's time to determine how to re-word my entries to enrich yourselves, for I will not send Mr. Walker the entries until Thursday when the N&R deadline is past!

Thomas:

The L Word has always been aspirational and glamorous, but now it has located America's G spot: Even more than sex and shopping, we are obsessed with our careers. L now stands for labor. The L Word has become a workplace drama—and it is very satisfying.

I picked up this show after blowing through The Wire DVDs and waiting on The Sopranos to wrap up. After the blood-soaked political maneuverings and your typical slave/noblemen/noblewomen orgies of Rome, hot, fashionable lesbians doing interesting things is quite refreshing.

Notably, The L Word gets high marks for avoiding, to a large degree, the trap of do-no-wrong, goddess gays and their straight oppressors. It's still there (Don't Ask/Don't Tell has been an important sub-plot and a female character taking testosterone has been marginalized at work), but the focus is on the richness of the women. And they're way more interesting to watch with their flaws and failings and struggles exposed than if they were perfect, homosexual divas.

Belth interview of Schilling:

But you don't want it to be a blog where people are just logging on and kissing your ass. Because nobody gets anything out of that.

Yeah, I feel the same way. Although appreciated, try to keep your praise to a minimum when you visit davidboyd.org. It annoys the not-as-enamored.

Henninger:

We live in hyperpoliticized times. With the Web drawing ever-greater numbers into the daily game, no political offense is too slight to raise waves of high dudgeon.

Whatever happened to being cool and being able to handle stuff instead of writing 10,000 word blog posts about every disrespect, perceived and otherwise? Maybe it gets you hits, I don't know, but people who are in crisis mode all the time get on my damn nerves.

Be like this, Seipp via Althouse:

What puzzles me is why so many people are scared of so many ridiculous things.

Schilling:

...it’s my blog, I pay for it and if that sucks for you then I am not sure what to tell ya.

I am beholding the fountain. What of it?

If you find the above call and response amusing, you may wish to read you must read this book. Unavailable through Amazon so you'll have to overcome language difficulties in securing one from Europe. Shudder. However, Visa appears to be a universal currency and will work on the dark continent. Follow the instructions at the link.

What is it about?

Man, Ulrich Haarburste, likes cling film (i.e. Saran Wrap).

He enjoys, although it's not clear if it's sexual in nature, wrapping Roy Orbison in the stuff.

He has a pet turtle that may or may not be capable of communicating with humans.

The three comrades escape from dastardly villains and Rolling Stone reporters by using Roy Orbison wrapped in cling film in spectacularly unorthodox ways.

As opposed to orthodox ways in which to use Roy Orbison wrapped in cling film to escape from villains and Rolling Stone reporters.

Jim Morrison and Yul Brynner are integral figures.

Given the popularity of Dane Cook, my faith in humor my faith in people's taste in humor is somewhat shaken as of late. However, I guarantee that you will laugh out loud several times during the course of reading this book. If not, at least the chapters are short. Have a taste here.

Nordlinger:

Trying to get Europeans to like you is a) a fool’s errand and b) not a fit concern for a U.S. president...

We learned this in high school, right? You have a better chance with the head cheerleader by not worrying about her than spending your days fawning.

Of course, you don't necessarily want to be the scary guy in the black trenchcoat either.

I can't recall seeing a more manly film.

Having been unable to watch the Texas/USC game, despite having a satellite dish capable of receiving hundreds of channels, I can only speculate that it was Rick Barnes who deprived us of Durant vs. UNC and several days of hype. Alas.

Storch:

The fear of climatic catastrophes is an ancient one and not unlike our fear of strangers. In the past, people believed that the climate almost always changes for the worse, and only rarely for the better -- God's punishment for sinful behavior. And nowadays it's those hedonistic wastrels who pollute the air so that they can look at some pretty fish in the South Seas. It would be better if we only ever rode bikes. Oh, there's always someone wagging a finger in disapproval.

Beato:

Theoretically, the "Secret Lamp," which is designed to remind you that "the Grand Genie of the Universe is serving you in every moment of your life," should just show up on your doorstep if you think about it hard enough. But if that doesn't work, you can get one the traditional way, by shelling out $49.95 for a gaudy, silver-plated trinket that probably wholesales for a tenth of that amount.

I read something the other day that said if the collectivists got their way and we divied up all the money in the world and dispersed it equally, we'd have to do it again the next year to keep the poor souls who had managed to lose theirs from starving.

I have no doubt.

I used to be in the brokerage business when the online stock trading boom was happening and interest in the stock market was at an all-time high. I dare say there were few people in the country more qualified than me to explain the pitfalls of various get-rich-quick schemes that would come along from time to time in the form of seminars and infomercials that promised to teach the common man about options trading or technical analysis or whatever. I'd patiently explain time and again that if the folks charging hundreds of dollars to teach you how to make money thought their methods worked, they wouldn't be wasting their time showing the proletariat how to do it, they'd be doing it themselves. Obviously they thought (correctly) that there was more money in charging for their books and tapes and lectures than following the recommendations contained therein.

But would my advice-seekers listen?

Never.

Would they lose their money?

Like champs.

Charen on Ali:

Far more perceptive than most around her, she could see that Holland’s unwillingness to give offense to Muslims was enabling the Muslim minority to continue to persecute its girls and women on European soil.

To not want to offend is admirable. However, at some point you have to believe in something and make a stand. Else the other guy wins by default.

Via Mankiw. Landsburg:

In 1965, leisure was pretty much equally distributed across classes. People of the same age, sex, and family size tended to have about the same amount of leisure, regardless of their socioeconomic status. But since then, two things have happened. First, leisure (like income) has increased dramatically across the board. Second, though everyone's a winner, the biggest winners are at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder.

Leonard:

The prevalence of buy-back clauses befuddled me when I learned about them, because I didn't quite understand the point of handing off your risk of default to someone else, if you were still on the hook if anything went wrong.

True. And also I don't understand the folks buying the loans thinking that they're protected if things go bad. If circumstances get that dire, where are the subprime mortgage originators going to come up with the funds to buy back the bad loans?

This is a freaking Ponzi scheme. Hope it doesn't blow up too bad.

Good time to revisit this guy.

Cowen:

The more wealth we have, the more government we can afford. Furthermore, the better government operates, the more government people will demand. That is the fundamental paradox of libertarianism. Many initial victories bring later defeats.

Simmons:

No way this tournament unfolds without one "Durant single-handedly destroys a much better team" game that can be replayed on ESPN Classic for the rest of eternity. Admit it, Tar Heel fans ... you're unequivocally terrified right now. Come on. Admit it. Get it out in the open. You'll feel better.

It's gonna suck to lose to Barnes, isn't it? But 'Ol Roy ain't stopping Durant.

As if he'll need more motivation than playing in the Sweet 16:

Durrant(sic) was ready to commit to North Carolina and his mother went so far as to call Tar Heels’ coach Roy Williams, who was reluctant to take a commitment at that point from a franchise player who was so iffy academically. A Durrant commitment might have scared off some of the other frontcourt players on Carolina’s list at a time when there was no assurance Durrant would get the grades.

I thought it was little different than State of Fear - popular entertainment with global warming scenery. Worst case scenarios may make a compelling PowerPoint presentation or a fun read, but assumptions sometimes lead to bad places. See Iraq.

Broad:

But part of his scientific audience is uneasy. In talks, articles and blog entries that have appeared since his film and accompanying book came out last year, these scientists argue that some of Mr. Gore’s central points are exaggerated and erroneous. They are alarmed, some say, at what they call his alarmism.

It's somewhat ironic that Gore uses this Mark Twain quote in the film:

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.

Gore seems to think he knows a lot 'for sure.'

Update: However, the lonely polar bear swimming in the vast ocean looking for some ice was a nice touch.

Update II: Also, I wish they'd have gotten a quote from someone who lives in Greenland. I don't want to spoil the surprise for anyone, but Greenland melts and disappears into the Atlantic.

Saw it last night. We're doomed. Hope y'all have survival skills cause I'll be going all Mad Max.

Lindsey:

Forget about walking the walk; almost nobody even talks our talk in the political arena anymore. The limited-government rhetoric of Ronald Reagan, the bold plans by the congressional class of 1994 to eliminate whole Cabinet departments – all that is just a distant memory. You know things are bad for libertarians when we begin to experience Clinton nostalgia – but can you imagine a current leader in Congress, or a serious presidential candidate for 2008, actually saying today that “the era of big government is over”?

It's easier for folks who want to expand government power. In addition to principle, they have a concrete payout - jobs to be created, regulations to be imposed, enemies to be burdened. In today's environment of easy money, the forces against have lost their only tangible weapon and now have only principle making it all but impossible to continue to raise the troops to thrust unto the breech.

You gotta love Sidney Lowe in that red blazer. Reminds me of my childhood.



Update: And look at those French cuffs! Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the anti-Belichick.

Schilling:

“Keep pushing, Schill. No matter what happens, keep pushing.”

That’s it. In his mind, life really was that simple. No matter what you were up against you just kept pushing. Whatever happened, things would work themselves out if you kept pushing yourself.

Young:

One woman, a Ph.D. student in the social sciences at a Midwestern university, told me recently that when she started reading conservative, libertarian, or otherwise heretical blogs, "it was a whole perspective I had never been exposed to before in anything other than caricature."

When that's the norm, the harm is less to dissenters than to the life of the mind. It's not good for any group of people to spend a lot of time listening only to like-minded others. It is especially bad for a profession whose lifeblood is the exchange of ideas.

Cline:

Packer: An angry mob of Bostonians is squaring off against a small band of soldiers, and it looks like things could get ugly. I mean, tempers are hot, people. The Bostonians are taunting the soldiers. You know, they remind me a little of a young Michael Jordan, the way he used to toy with his opponents, try to unnerve them. The Bostonians are doing the same thing. Their star center, Crispus Attucks, is really letting the redcoats have it. He's right in their faces. The mob is daring the soldiers to fire and is starting to hit at them with clubs and a sword. The redcoats have loaded their muskets and, oh!, they've fired into the crowd! Attucks is down! Several others are scattered on the ground around him. Now, you hate to see that, you really do. But you know, if you're going to taunt you have to expect to get a reaction. I mean, that mob had it coming. The officials ought to let that one go.

Related to recent discussions regarding raising the minimum wage in GSO here, here and here.

Hamersma:

There’s a more direct path to improving incomes for the working poor. Instead of requiring employers to pay more, and then allowing them to apply for reimbursement through tax subsidies, why not skip the middleman and subsidize the worker directly?

and...

If we don’t think that people with low incomes are getting what they need, let’s not look to ineffective employer tax credits to try to create jobs. And let’s not burden employers with the costs of a higher minimum wage, most of which won’t even go to low-income families. If additional investments are to be effective — and directed toward the intended recipients — they should focus instead on making sure our Earned Income Tax Credit program provides an adequate income supplement for the working poor.

If you want the poor to have more money, give it to them. Don't go mucking up the labor market any more than it already is.

Malaklou:

At Duke, there seems to be a fine line between being sexually liberated and sexually used, and many Duke women-myself included-do not know how to maneuver that line.

Via JIC. File this under 'Glad to be a man. I couldn't handle the complexity.' Slim Pickens gets to the heart of the matter.

Hitchens:

In her book, Ayaan Hirsi Ali says the following: "I left the world of faith, of genital cutting and forced marriage for the world of reason and sexual emancipation. After making this voyage I know that one of these two worlds is simply better than the other. Not for its gaudy gadgetry, but for its fundamental values." This is a fairly representative quotation. She has her criticisms of the West, but she prefers it to a society where women are subordinate, censorship is pervasive, and violence is officially preached against unbelievers. As an African victim of, and escapee from, this system, she feels she has acquired the right to say so.

We're lucky to have this woman living with us in the US. Hopefully someday she can do it without bodyguards.

Update here with a little behind the scenes as to why it happened.

Kling:

Subsidizing "good" energy in order to justify using "bad" energy is like eating salad in order to justify eating dessert. It is an exercise in self-deception.

Simmons:

Congrats to Coach K for questioning why Hansbrough was still in the game and inadvertently using Isiah Thomas' "he was asking for it" defense. And the Duke fans wonder why everyone hates Duke. If the roles were reversed, and this had happened to McRoberts, Coach K would have shown up for the press conference covered in McRoberts's blood, fighting back tears, urging for the offending UNC player to be suspended for the entire ACC tournament and basically looking like Jackie Kennedy in Dallas after the JFK shooting. God, I hate Duke.

See also Simmons's description just prior of Packer's odd insistence that Henderson did not intentionally drop a flying elbow on Hansbrough's beak.

Unfortunately for Packer we have replay. Even more unfortunately we have You Tube.

Pay close attention as Packer attempts to hypnotize the country by soothingly telling the basketball proletariat over and over that they did not see what they just saw.

As an added bonus, witness Packer's telepathic ability regarding Henderson's state of mind and what he didn't intend.

BW interview with Clarence Thomas:

Why do you think I get in so much controversy? People have a model of what they think a black person should think. A white person is free to think whatever they want to think. But a black person has to think a certain way.

Orlet:

...I'm one of the last of the Boomers — or first of the Gen Xers — so I wasn't part of that millennial generation raised on an overdose of self-esteem and self-promoting technology that have combined to create a perfect storm of narcissism.

It appears the 'Me Generation' is fighting back, doesn't it. Yet, who was it that raised these self-loving, self-reverential, millennial creatures? Their Boomer parents of course!

Update: On the other hand:

...we take a drive with (Spencer) Pratt in (Brody) Jenner’s Mercedes G55 (MSRP: $105,275) down the Pacific Coast Highway, passing Mel Gibson’s house and eventually David Geffen’s. Pratt spends 20 minutes talking about how he plans to make a tape of himself and Heidi Montag having sex, which he’s thinking about posting online. Plunging ahead to tap the next vein of almost-stardom, he tells me I should have been at Jenner’s the other night after Hyde, at five in the morning. “Guess who showed up,” he says. “Lindsay Lohan. I’m telling you, man, she’s obsessed with Brody. She wrote him a note that says how she could cuddle with him forever. Kissed it and signed her name and everything.” As Pratt speaks, I glance at Jenner, looking for a reaction, but he shows no sign of emotion.

“Hey,” Pratt asks me, “do you think Details would publish that note, like a copy of it?”

Maybe, I tell him, if he gives it to me.

“All right, but only if I can film myself giving it to you. Is that cool?”

Update II:

...Joe Francis, creator of the Girls Gone Wild franchise, comes by the table to say hello. The 33-year-old Francis is a Yoda-like figure to Jenner and Pratt—someone who got rich simply by persuading girls to flash their breasts. Francis, Pratt informs me, has an estate in Mexico with a device called the “anything button” in select rooms. “You press that and you get anything you want. Anything. How incredible is that?”

Nah. Their Boomer parents are still the ones giving them the cash.

Malanga on Michael Lewis's new book:

...a remarkable couple intervenes in (Michael) Oher’s life. Sean Tuohy, a former all-American basketball player who parlayed his sports fame into a successful business career, is a born-again Christian with a daughter in Briarcrest. Sean notices Oher around the school wearing the same clothes every day, figures that he’s hungry, and arranges to have Oher’s school lunches billed to his account. He and his wife, Leigh Anne, see Oher wearing shorts in the middle of a snowstorm, and the next day she takes the boy on a shopping spree around Memphis’s big and tall men’s shops. Finally, when Leigh Anne drives Oher home after a track meet, only to find him living in an abandoned trailer and sleeping on an air mattress that he must inflate every night, the pair moves him in with them. “God gives people money to see how they will handle it,” Leigh Anne explains.